Q. What's soft and warm when you go to bed, but hard and stiff when you wake up?
A. Vomit
Q. How can you tell if you eat pussy well?
A. You wake up in the morning with a face like a glazed doughnut and a beard like an unwashed paintbrush.
Q. Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
A. He did okay until his business fell off.
Q. What's the best thing about marrying a woman with leprosy?
A. She can only give you lip once!
Q. If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on?
A. The Captains Dinghy!
Q. What does 70 year old pussy taste like?
A. Depends!
Q. What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to use it.
Q. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q. Why don't men have mid-life crises?
A. They stay stuck in adolescence.
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A. Bonds mature.
