JOKES

Jesus, hanging on the cross, spots Peter in the crowd at the bottom of the hill. "Peter," he calls. "Peter." Peter hears his name and replies, "I hear, Lord, I'm coming," and starts up the hill toward the cross. A Roman guard blocks Peter's way and says, "Stop, or I'll cut off your arm." But Peter says, "I must go on, my Lord is calling me," and tries to pass the guard, who cuts off his arm with a sword.

Jesus calls again, "Peter, Peter...", so Peter continues, bleeding and in terrible pain, up the hill toward the cross. Another guard blocks his way and says, "Stop, or I'll cut off your other arm." Peter ignores this, saying, "I must go on, my Lord is calling me." As Peter tries to pass the second guard, the guard cuts off his other arm with his sword. Jesus calls again, "Peter...," so Peter, getting weak from the pain, continues up the hill. A third guard blocks his way and says, "Stop, or I'll cut off your leg." Peter says to the guard, "I must go on, my Lord is calling me." As Peter tries to continue up the hill, the guard cuts off his leg. Peter falls in a heap of pain and blood, but still manages to push and drag himself up the hill toward the cross with his one remaining leg. Jesus calls again,

"Peter... Peter..." Peter replies, "I hear, Lord, I'm coming." Another guard steps in front of Peter and says, "Stop, or I'll cut off your other leg." Peter squirms top try to pass the guard, so the guard cuts off Peter's other leg. In excruciating pain, Peter uses sheer willpower to drag his mutilated body to the base of the cross.

Panting, he raises his eyes toward Jesus and says, "I am here, Lord. I have answered your call. Jesus looks down at Peter and says, "Peter... I can see your house from here!"